A dead miracle

A SUICIDE NOTE
"I'm sorry.You are at the cemetery as i write this.You're a brave person Jon..I could'v never seen our baby being buried in the lifeless ground.Our child! Our only child! Who was right here in my arms yesterday..and now he's gone..? I still hope this is a nightmare..but I know it's not.I don't wanna wake up tomorrow to find an empty cradle ..And  wake up every morning and realize this is how my life's gonna be!
After those 6 anxious years of trying to conceive ..and all those medical treatments.. and the hopelessness ...i'm so tired Jon..all i wanted was a baby !I wanted my baby to have all the love I never got. is that too much to ask for? There is no way I can ever have faith in God again.There is no way i can live to see another day...
I have a confession to make.I lied..when i said my parents moved outta country ..and my brother an I don't talk anymore.I don't have a family..I'm an orphan ,Jon.I lived in foster care for years.And the only reason I never told you the truth is because I finally found a person who I could have a normal life with..So I decided to put it all behind me and have a new start with you...But God hates me you know...or i wouldn't have been in this state.Ever!
I wanna apologize to you for everything..i love you too you know..but I guess I messed it all up b'coz I was so exhausted trying so hard for the baby..I'm truly sorry.I'm a failure.that's what I am.A failure..and i have no right to exist.
So, i'm going with our baby.I'll tell him how much I love him and i'll stay with him forever.
i'm so sorry Jon..."
A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE
A 35 year old female , by the name of Jane Doe , committed suicide yesterday evening, after the tragic death of her 5 month old son.It is believed that the loss of her child lead her to take such a desperate measure.
Although the unfortunate part is what her autopsy report revealed today morning.She was found pregnant with an 8 week old foetus. Mr X, a renowned gynaecologist says " it's almost a miracle that she conceived for the second time though she had been suffering from secondary infertility.She was lactating and that is a natural contraceptive.It's almost a miracle I'd say.Just wish she'd have known."
       God knew her though she didn't know Him.He understood her and she didn't. He already blessed her with another child because He knew what she needed.And He cared for her and loved her.If only she'd have known..she would know The Father's heart.
It's so unfortunate , but so true , how much we misunderstand Him.We underestimate His power and authority, and His heart to bless us immeasurably.
Typical human behavior : impulsive.
Typical love of God: infinite.

The definition of ME

Ever felt like the whole world is out there to define you? What and who you should and shouldn't be. What you should and shouldn't do. The defaults of the society. The fact is, all of this is not substantial. All of this does not really exist for more than a fraction of time. All of this is not permanent. Do not let these abstract things define you. Do not let them cripple you. Do not let them stop you from reaching your destiny. Do not let them overcrowd your thoughts and smother your spirit.
When in doubt, say this...
I believe that I am not defined by what you think of me. I believe that I am not defined by who I am right now. I am defined by what God thinks of me. I am defined by what God sees when He looks at me.
I am not defined by the claustrophobic shells surrounding me in my head. The shells created by the society I live in. The shells created by the people, surrounded by the shells of other people. I am defined by the freedom of expression I have been given by God.

I am not defined by the image of me that you had, have and will have. I am defined by the image I have in God. Because I have been, and we all have been created in His image.
I am not defined by my sins either. I am defined by the one who cleanses my sins. Every time.
I am not defined by the choices I make. I am defined by the choice of Him who restores me after every wrong choice.
I am not defined by the good or bad decisions I make in life. I am defined by the decision of having faith in God even when there is no reason to.
I am not defined by the judgments you make of me. That actually defines you.
I am not defined by my age, or sex, or the person I love. God loves me anyway.
I am not defined by the money I make. Money doesn't buy faith. Faith makes everything possible.
I am not defined by the career I choose. I am defined by how God chooses to use me wherever I am.
I am not defined by who I think I am. That definition changes every passing minute. I am defined by who I choose to be with, eternally.

Shout out below if you can totally relate to this. Let everyone know what does and does not define you.